Porn & Addiction–Overcoming Denial, Guilt & Shame
A friend provided me with the following article, which I post because it evidences that the real battles of life are spiritual, and the enemy is conducting a frontal attack:
More churches confronting porn addiction
Christian leaders are increasingly acting to address this ‘elephant in the pews.’
By JANE LAMPMAN CHRISTIAN SCIENCE MONITOR
On a blustery day early this year, 13,000 people showed up at Mars Hill Bible Church in Grand Rapids, Mich., for what became known as “Porn Sunday.” Two young California pastors with a Web site called XXXchurch.com – “the No. 1 Christian porn site” – were in town with a silence-breaking message.
Their frank talk about the struggles many Christians are having with pornography has drawn huge crowds in several churches across the country, and now the Revs. Craig Gross and Mike Foster are planning National Porn Sunday for Oct. 9.
“We were tired of hearing stories about people’s lives being wrecked, and feeling they had nowhere to go in the church to get help,” Gross says. He and Foster hope to engage 200 churches in talking openly about “America’s dirty little secret” and are offering resources to help them initiate healing programs for their congregations.
While some consider the pastors’ efforts controversial, many religious leaders recognize they need help on how to talk about this “elephant in the pews.” Surveys show that 40 million Americans regularly view Internet pornography.
For years, churches were in denial about the scope of the problem, but the toll on marriages, careers and faith communities has grown, Christian leaders say. And it involves not only congregants but pastors.
In a 2001 survey published in Leadership Journal, 37 percent of pastors said pornography was a struggle for them, and 51 percent admitted it was a temptation.
“For 25 years, I would have said that the pro-life issue is the most pressing threat to America morally, but pornography has overtaken it,” says the Rev. Richard Land, a leader in the Southern Baptist Convention, the largest U.S. Protestant denomination. “More people’s lives are being destroyed on a daily basis by addiction to pornography than through abortion.”
Douglas Weiss, a counselor with divinity and psychology degrees, speaks at churches of many denominations on sexuality issues. “Wherever I am … and no matter what the denomination, at least half of the men in the church admit to being sexually addicted,” he says. Based on his experience, “The clergy don’t differ that much from the general population – between a third to half.”
Many men have been trying on their own for years to get free, Weiss adds.
Some denominations encourage local congregations to educate members and to install filtering software in church and home computers. Evangelicals have responded most vigorously.
Focus on the Family, a Colorado-based Evangelical group, was alerted a few years ago when its toll-free clergycare line began lighting up with calls from ministers – and 25 percent were porn-related. “We’ve been working hard to alleviate the addiction, and are seeing some improvement,” says the Rev. H.B. London, vice president of ministry outreach.
Focus on the Family has quietly spent thousands of dollars sending pastors to treatment centers. It also offers churchgoers help through its “Pure Intimacy” program on the Internet, and has set up a global referral network of
Christian counselors.
Those most active on the issue include those who have found healing themselves and are helping others through seminars, support groups, and Web site communities.
Simon Sheh, a psychologist of evangelical faith in Edmonton, Alberta, offers a one-day seminar designed to equip men to safeguard themselves against pornography. Pastors bring church members, fathers bring teen sons. “It’s a family thing, to create a legacy of purity in the family,” he says. Surveys show that the average age of first exposure to Web porn is 11. Most caught up in it say it began in their early teens.
While the seminar uses biblical strategies of taking responsibility for oneself, being honest, and learning how to be godly, Dr. Sheh explains, it also educates about the consequences of addiction and on other issues that most often underlie it.
“Pornography is not just about sex. It is a drug of pain relief,” Sheh says.
Counselors say it is often emotional pain – from childhood abuse, from feeling isolated, rejected or inadequate – compounded by not having someone to talk with about it. What some scientists call the “neurochemistry of sex” also fosters the addiction.
Recognizing those factors helps men deal with the shame of seeking help.
“They often have the perception they are perverts,” Sheh says. “I tell them, ‘God does not make perverts, and God is your physician. He healed me. He can heal you, too.’ ”
Pornography statistics
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$ 12 billion: U.S. pornography industry annual revenue.
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$2.5 billion: Internet pornography revenue.
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12 percent of all Web sites are pornographic.
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25 percent of daily search-engine requests related to pornography.
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40 million American adults regularly visit pornographic Web sites.
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20 percent of men and 13 percent of women admit accessing porn at work. Source: TopTenReviews Inc.
